Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Dear Conservative Media,

I wanted to write you a formal apology, because I fear I've let you down. I know you've worked very hard to establish as fact the myth that girls like me are dangerous to all other kinds of girls in shared, gendered public facilities. And I know that that myth has been so thoroughly debunked that it would be funny if not for the reality that it even had to (has to!) be debunked, but I also know how powerful belief is, and that on some level you need this to be true. And I am sorry, but I cannot help you with making it so.

I've been using women's restrooms and facilities in public places for a full year, now, starting one month nearly to the day from the first moment I began to realize that I'd been incorrectly designated male at birth. During that time, I have managed to plan and/or execute exactly zero attacks, invasions of privacy, or lewd acts. I considered making a graph, but since everything on it would've been zero, it seemed silly. I also considered providing police reports, but then I remembered that there aren't any, because I haven't done anything wrong. I did not track how many times I used these kinds of facilities, nor did I investigate any of them as I entered or left to determine whether I was alone.

I have been known on occasion to take selfies while in public restrooms, but these instances, in addition to being comparatively rare, have also failed to cause any distress in anyone present, as far as I have seen. It may be that I was actually alone every time I've done this, but I was too focused on trying to get a not-blurry shot of that day's dress or makeup or what-have-you that I can't say for sure, and, as I said above, I've never checked to see who else is or is not in a public restroom with me. All I've ever checked for is whether anyone but me is visible in the frame.


If there are other sorts of despicable things you believe I may have done in public, shared women's facilities, acts that I may have failed to imagine (sorry again), please don't hesitate to write, and I will do my best to recall. But I can save you some time and let you know right now that the entire list of my activities in public restrooms has thus far been limited to: peeing, pooping, texting, checking Facebook, reading, washing my hands, doing or fixing my makeup, brushing my teeth, very infrequently taking a selfie, and maybe emailing. Maybe. If you ask me whether I've done much of anything else in these kinds of places, barring a response along the lines of "I administered CPR one time" (if that ever happens), the answer will be "no."

The first year mark is special for a lot of trans milestones, for me, personally. Beyond that, I can't promise I'll commemorate anniversaries in any way. But I can assure you that, given the fact that the only times the idea of a girl like me going on some kind of rampage through public restrooms and whatnot crosses my mind are when I've read yet another report of any of you spreading the myth that that's a thing girls like me do, I will remain no threat to anyone, and I again apologize. Between contributing to your discomfort at trying to comprehend what a girl like me really is (hint: a girl), or contributing to actual harm to actual people, I find myself compelled to choose the former.

I get that it can be really hard to understand any whole group of people when you don't know any of them, or when you maybe know just a few. You're left trying to make sense of whatever you see based on your own understanding of reality. But that's not going to work very well, because you are not me. That's why I'd like to invite you to come and get to know me. If you Like my Public Figure Page, you'll see my posts in your feed as if I was any of your other Facebook friends. It's mostly pictures of me and my cats, but sometimes I link to other stuff, like this blog.

If you don't like seeing the kinds of content I post, that's okay, you can just message me and ask what I think of your favorite band, or something. We can talk about whatever.

Maybe you've had a bad day and want to vent to someone. Maybe your mom was really unreasonable and you're frustrated. I know how that feels. I have good days, and I have bad days. I struggled with depression for a very long time, though that's been gone since I realized I was a girl all along. Maybe you want to talk about stuff like that.

I've thought about my gender and my sexuality a lot, and pretty deeply, but in my regular day-to-day, I don't really talk about either much. If you want to get to know more about mine, I will probably just point you to this blog, really, but we can talk about your gender and sexuality if you want. Maybe you've been wondering about some aspects of both or either, and you want someone you can just bounce thoughts off of. If I don't have a good answer for you, I won't give you one at all.

We could talk about other stuff. I really like cooking (and eating, let's be honest), and I write songs and I have lots of opinions on music in general. I kind of grew up on a few Marvel comics properties, so I've been super happy to see the movies become a thing. Also, I love cats and owls. Oh, and I play games like World of Warcraft and League of Legends on my PC. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say. Whatever you want to ask, you can ask. I will do my level best to take you as seriously as you take me.

The point is that it doesn't have to be all gender stuff all the time, because my life isn't all gender stuff all the time. My gender is just part of what my life is made out of. It's not a hobby or a thing I do. There's no real goal about it. I'm just me.

So, all I ask is that you get to know me for awhile, first, and then decide on your own whether I'm really worth hurting.

Love,

Seranine Elliot

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